Mandarin

Seriously, is it against the law for not knowing how to speak mandarin? is it so so so so so so wrong? fine, i'm a banana, i don't deny it. but is it a crime to not being able to speak mandarin?

when i was a kid, i was thrown into a mandarin speaking tadika, with my dad hoping that i would learn the language there. and damn, it was one of the most suffering years of my life. i think i managed to learn how to speak, but i soon forgot how to when i transferred to another tadika the following year. honestly, i couldn't cope at all. how's one with no mandarin background to communicate with the other kids who speaks a total different language other than your own? i would like to say how deeply sorry i am to my dad, cos obviously his plan failed, lol.

many told me that it's ok to not know the language. but today, i finally have to disagree. it is NOT OK to not know. because the people here are laughing behind my back. in fact, my friend told me that one of my classmates don't even consider me as a chinese. i'm only a "half-chinese" to them. fine by me, they can call me names, i don't really give a damn. one even went to extend of saying i was too lazy to learn when someone asked me why i don't speak mandarin.

but here's the situation: you're in a house full of mandarin speaking people. ok, fine by me, they can speak and joke all they want in mandarin. but when the whole house laughs at something although they're speaking in mandarin, you just can't help by giggling or smiling, right? wrong! you'll get bombarded with "why you laugh? you understand what we talking meh?? what did we say just now?"

this came from someone who i'm the most close to among them all.

and since then, i dare not even smile for the next 3 hours.

it's amazing how i'm actually afraid of my own race. not that i'm being racist or what-so-ever. but hey! i'm doing my best to learn mandarin, can't they just give me a chance? instead of teaching me, they walk away, out-casting me.

it's sad what they can do to you because you don't speak their lingo.