Lost

This isn't me....

I'm not like this. What's happening to me? I've never been this lazy before. I keep procrastinating my work and the workload is piling up fast. And here I am, being ignorant about it.

Kinda no self-motivation for the past month. Sure, the Emotion project was fun. But that was forced out. Come to think of it, everything was done at the last minute.

My classmate chose the same artist as me for the current project. Normally, I would go head to head with her. But I didn't. I didn't feel the need to. Why bother? Why go stress myself out?

But many of my friends asked why didn't I? Why didn't I make the extra effort to prove myself? Even my lecturer agreed that I should have went for it. But............................................................. why bother?

Where is my motivation? Where is my drive? What am I chasing after? All I see is just me, alone in a dark tunnel. I feel like I've been chasing nothing. I try to grasp something, but all I get is air of nothingness. I feel my shoulders are getting heavier and heavier. It's getting harder to breathe by the minute.

Or maybe I'm just tired. Sick and tired of working nonstop for the pass 2 months. Before we have our deadlines due, a new project brief has been given. Before we can blink an eye, other work has been piled up. Currently I have an essay and final outcome due tomorrow, both I haven't worked on. Heck, I'm so far behind on them, I'm not even sure whether I can vomit out everything by tomorrow night. Not only that, Indesign project that's due on Thursday, along with the project. May I survive all these this week.

So much to ponder about. I know... that if i hadn't procrastinate, I would be asleep by now, with all my work almost done. But no, I haven't accomplished a single thing all weekend. What have I gotten myself into? I can already picture my parents shaking their heads at me.

Where am I? Who am I? What have I done to myself? Why am I like this now? Am so disappointed with myself. I know I'm not alone in facing all of these... But why do I still feel that way anyway? Am just so tired of everything right now....